Korea’s wedding traditions are changing along with society
during past decades.
The wedding was always one of the most blessed traditions in
Korean culture and no matter if it was during the Joseon Dynasty or 21st
century!
Although the typical quick and mechanized modern-day Korean
wedding may seem unromantic, for much of history Korean tradition hardly
factored the couple’s relationship into the equation at all. Rather, the
emphasis was on the political, symbolic and economic consequences of the union.
Contrary to what historical dramas may imply, it was simply the joining of two
clans, heavily rooted in Confucian values, rituals and symbolic gestures. As a
general rule, the peeking glances at the groom-to-be and the tearful pleas to
be married to so-and-so that are depicted so often in films and dramas owe far
more to fiction than history.1
While blind dates (소개팅) arranged through family
and friends, may be the most common way for young Koreans to meet today, things
were drastically different during the Joseon Dynasty. The matchmaking process often
took place through an official matchmaker or marriage broker who evaluated the
families’ criteria. Their reputations, financial assets, physical appearances
and achievements would come to the forefront and, when the decision was
becoming serious, the parents of the prospective spouses would meet. As with
many arranged marriages, at no point would the two people getting married
actually meet each other. Many brides even had their eyes glued shut during the
ceremony and could not see the grooms’ faces until it was over.
The betrothal was considered complete when the groom’s
family sent an official letter of proposal to the bride’s family and the
bride’s family responded with a letter of acceptance (same stress feeling level
as getting university acceptance letter!). The groom’s family would write the
husband-to-be’s year date and time of birth according to the lunar calendar (사주) on a piece of white paper of precise measurements,
folded five times evenly and ceremoniously wrapped. The bride’s family would
use the 사주 of the two candidates to
make sure the match was propitious, meaning that there was sufficient marital
harmony (궁합). Using the 사주, the fortuneteller would also advise on setting a date,
a process called Napchae (납채).
Once the date was set, the last necessary pre-wedding ritual
would be the exchanging of gifts. The groom’s family would gift the bride’s
family with a large box (함), which would have three
components: the marriage papers (헌서), red and blue fabric (채단) and gifts for family (헌수).
Of these gifts, the family gifts, was by far the most important as it contained
the groom’s seal. For a woman, both her status and her life depended on
remaining married and many women were even buried with their 헌수.
Weddings were a large, costly affair involving a feast (대례). This ceremony took place at the home of the bride.
Everyone in the village would come and admire all the sights and colors. The
groom would approach the house on a horse, with his attendants nearby, and
maintain a stoic face at all times. Upon arrival, the groom would present a
wild goose to the bride’s mother on a small table. A geese were known to mate
for life, this gesture was symbolic of the groom’s fidelity.
Afterward, there
was a bowing ceremony in which the bride and groom would be in each other’s
presence for the first time. The groom would stand at the east end of a wedding
table while the bride stood at the west end. The bride would bow twice to the
groom, who in turn would bow once.
The bride would return to her parents’ home, where the
husband would visit for the first three nights. On the third visit, the bride
would go to live permanently at her husband’s house.
While upper-class men (양반)
were able to remarry, women had to stay loyal to their husbands until death.
As Christianity began to take root in Korea, new-style
wedding (신식) began to emerge in the
1890s. Around this time, child marriages were banned, in 1907, the legal age of
marriage was 17 for boys and 15 for girls. This new style wedding of that time
is so much resemble to the modern wedding style of Korea these days. Brides are
walking along the church while keep their dad’s arm and going forward to the
groom, and they swear to be loyal to each
other until death.
Nowadays, wedding
traditions in Korea are much more show off to each other. The bridal dress,
wedding hall, arrangements, even the dinner menu and buffet meal are all like
competition among couples. Couples are like to held their weddings in a large
convention centers with somewhere between 100 and 300 guests. The couples rent
Hanbok (Korean traditional clothes) as well as Western-style wedding outfits,
and women hire professionals to do their hair and makeup. Typically,
photographer is hired a few months in advance, and elaborate wedding photos are
taken in a variety of settings and poses. At the wedding itself, two tables are
set up outside the doors (one for the bride and another for the groom). Guests
are expected to give congratulatory money to the couple in the form of crisp,
clean bills in white envelopes.
By the way, recently,
more couples prefer to have smaller weddings and they prefer to tie the knot in front of close relatives and friends rather than 300 guests’ eyes. They hire
talented wedding planners and held their little ceremony in a garden with few
guests and a simpler cake and buffet meal. However, I find this kind of wedding
style more romantic. The best part of it is, its completely personalized and
gives a great experience and memories.
If you are so curious
about this wedding style, then simply search “How to have a DIY wedding on Jeju
Island” or “How to do your own makeup”.
Finally, no matter which
style you will choose for you’re the most memorable event of your life, I wish all
of you to live happily ever after.
1- KOREA monthly magazine of tourism & cultural organization, September 2016
Xoxo,
PrincessGilda
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